Untitled

I cannot conceive of asking you to stay
Yet it is many a time all I can manage to imagine
The lifelines are a funny kind
They intertwine for a short spin
And cross one another through and through
Like the last time we danced and spun
Soon enough you’ll take a leave onto a journey
You rejoice and try on new pair of shoes
Out of the dark and into the light if you look and not hide
Then I agree there is balance in it
In what we call life, time itself means not a thing
Yet we deem time to encapsulate the very core of our being
Perceiving the time may never come again
As it seldom does
Once or twice in a time we occupy this world
Through rigorous practice of always creating time
The leader of our fate
And not our hearts
Heart knows this and how blatantly
It yields to wheel of time and this is our mind at its best
As the heart is endless,
Boundless beam of energy
That shines
And seeing it illuminates your very path
To cross over to the West
To be one with the natural and the intimate self
It would be of outmost cruelty of me to say
Please don’t go
I desire you to stay
I can feel you comprehend
I am not clever to plead my heart’s wishes
To anyone but Me.
It is after all as it should be.


To DD on 5.29.08 on understanding why he must leave New York for some time…


Lucie

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

NOW THAT I STABBED MYSELF

IN DEED

WHY 

I DO NOT KNOW

WHEN THEY REACH OUT FOR MY HANDS

I WALK AWAY

I HIDE BEHIND MY PRIDE

I SLIDE BESIDE MY CRIES

THE STONES CAME DOWN

FROM THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

THEY KEEP DESCENDING

KILLING, DESTROYING EVERYTHING UNDER

I WANT TO KNOW

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

AGAIN

NOT THE TRUST

NOT THE HEART

JUST THE VISION OF ME, MYSELF AND I

NOT THE BELIEF

NOT THE PRAYER

JUST THE AIR TO BREATHE

WAVES DOOMING, WINTER, SPRING

IT ALL REPEATS ITSELF

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

NOT THE HURT 

NOT THE SORROW

JUST THE EYE UP IN THE SKY

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

AGAIN 

I DO MEAN TO ASK

- another poem from long ago suspecting from 1998

RESPECTFULLY..

Respectfully.

I mastered your point

Now hand down the sanctuary

Allow me to impress

Let you crawl into my thoughts

Regretfully.

I do not plan

For you to steal my mind

I would blindly let you see me cry

Over the hill you step

Whenever you are ready

Peacefully.

I am proposing a cooperative mode

Always to win

Never to lose my identity

I could never clone myself

Gracefully.

I like the tone of your voice

You shall sing

Opera perhaps

Composed as you may be 

Respectfully.

-- written so long ago I think 1998

Lost & Found... "MIRROR"

Standing tall and mighty

Sending messages down to me gently

I see myself in you

The times I have cleared my throat with whispers

You replicate images

Reiterating all in sequence

As if I sit and stare at the theatrical movie screen

It may not even be the best of selection

I merely suspect

Would not expect anything less

I too,

Remember the countless times I have cried myself to sleep

I too,

Recall the days I thought what it would be like

If tomorrow never arrived

I now glance over my shoulder

Time to time, every so often floating with fear

I too, wish to let go as much as you do

Needless to say my purification process

Triumphed right here and now,

In front of you my mirror

The avenues of my soul

I ride them with a windswept fierceness

In deed I comprehend where they lead

Me + Myself +I

The sign reads.

Home I arrived - the lock opens with ease

I spend what seems a lifetime  to me now

Fetching, glazing onto the place on the wall

You had left a dusty imprint

Mirror or hell

I have shed a heavy layer

Feeling of original, I so craved

Like a snake I leave piece of its skin

Colorful yet old and dry

My soul has rejoiced

Take my walk on the moon

Feeling & seeing heights unheard of

While you held your presence

I have self to plea with gratitude

I smile

Me + Myself + I

The sign reads.

12-30-2002

FEAR

Please don't scare me away

I am just a soul who longs to love you

For as long as I can

For as long as you let me inside your world

Please don't repeat what is when it is not

Nothing in this world of ours is what it seems

If it were so no one would ever need to live

Through any experiences

Your heart is shy and your mind graphed with your past

I comprehend well as I too can be as such

Believe it or not

Just this time I been granted

You are the most natural thing that has happened in my life

Now for the second time

Miracle in my hand

Cannot figure what great deed I have done

To witness it once and again

Attempt your best to not be afraid

As I too must not be

For everything I dreamt of

Is right in front of me.

5.20.08

IF AND ONLY IF

If only if time had no bearings on us
It is just an illusion after all said and done
That we age and that buildings fall…
Does that really mean time exists?
Between you and I there is no more time
It is all the while and all the moment in one
I can sit and hold your hand for a day and or eternity
It would feel the same; it would last just as long
And if only if we could ignore the clocks
It would evaporate the need to get up and go
Each time I walk down the steps
To turn around and catch a glimpse
Of the morning in your eyes
Waving me good bye
If only if we did not know what to do
The streetlights would remain in tact
The holes in the pavement would seal
When and then I could just be
Be who I always knew I was
If and only if the clouds would move away
From your heart to let the light through
To aid and gear the innocence
I can only pray that time will give us a part
And we can read the notes in our eyes
Hear the melodies of our souls
And let them unite
Collaborate on a beautiful sound, unlike no other
If and only if we could retain
Two hearts as one.

For DD on 5.19.08

MORNING OF MINE

MORNING OF MINE
CLARITY YOU BRING WITH YOU
THOUGH RAIN WASHED IT ALL AWAY
I REMEMBER THE SCENT OF THE PILLOW I LEFT BEHIND
IT IS FAMILIAR NOW
WHAT IF IT WAS NOT, THIS IS NO LONGER A QUESTION
THE HOURS AND MINUTES I LAID AWAKE
I FELT ENERGY RUNNING THROUGH MY BODY
THOUGH I WAS MOTIONLESS
MY BRAIN WAS SCATTERED BUT MY MIND
WAS STILL AND SPONGING IT ALL THROUGH ME
FILTERING AND DESIRING AND BREATHING IT IN
DRIP BY DRIP IT ENTHUSED MY SKIN
MORNING OF MINE MAY YOU ALWAYS BE SO CLEAR
NOT THE WEATHER, FOR ALL I KNOW THE RIVERS OPEN WIDE
NOT THE MOMENT, AS IT CEASES WHEN A NEW ONE ARRIVES
BUT THE HOUR IN WHICH WE RISE
WHEN I CAN HUMBLY SAY
MORNING OF MINE
YOU ARE TO ME
WHAT THE PLAIN BEIGE FIELDS ARE TO THE ZEBRAS
YOU BRING ME TO KNOW WHAT THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS
TEACHES THE NEWCOMER OVER AND OVER
THAT THE BEAUTY WILL COME AGAIN
JUST MUST LET IT AND MUST NOT TRY TO HOLD IT
MORNING OF MINE



For DD on 5.12.08

Slain me now
Do not pardon me
Drag me through the dirtiest of muds
All that and more is not enough
To erase the pain
My actions have manifested
To this day
I sigh and become undone
With magic brush
I would
Believe me
Remove
I from me at that time.
5-1-08

INK & STAIN

With this pen I write myself back in Into your sphere of patience and sincere stares
The letter shapes are strong and sharp the way I may have become over a decade past
Let the words alone stand as a reminder I am now as pure in thought as I always been
With a little luck and faith I shall remain
The white canvas I bought bears no calligraphy
For I don't know any
Though I clearly see images of two swords dancing in the air and the ink there were dipped in
Leave traces of strength and truth of the legendary warriors and their steel friends
An ink stain on this page I paused, I can tell It created a shape that can both be earth and hell, moon and sun for all the thoughts to wrap all around
With this pen I write what's inside And to you
I’ve wished to say
Pick up a pen and write if you will
Pause and stare at the white areas
Then return to color for balance of the mind.
These lines may flee soon enough
But the ink and stain have taken a part and
Surrounded a moment in time.
With this pen I write myself back into your life.
5-1-08