BE

BE today.

BE within.

BE right now.

BE ever open.

BE on the top or bottom

BE under a tree without taking any fruit

BE outside yourself wanting to go in

BE for everyone and thus for self

BE at peace while rushing to the next task

BE pleasant when you want to roar

BE everywhere and nowhere at once

BE in the flow of the universe

BE fluid

BE the wind.

BE always.

WORDS & MIRACLES

When I dawn upon a miracle in life or in a dream

I think of words to describe them to share the experience with my fellow kindred spirits

Lately I have realized that the words are not needed and the miracles are within

By simply breathing I am sharing these miracles and thus create what they inspire

To you I can bluntly say you are one miracle I stare at every day.

Not in disbelief as I believe, but in awe of the possibilities

Your love can move me to the very ends of my fingers

Your kiss can wake me from deep sleep and transcend worlds

Your skin is my meditation tool I slide down and up with my hand and feel the calmness of your being

The depth in your eyes is as a canyon I once saw in a dream and the bottom of it was fresh

water to drink, luring you into the fall so you can fly and then hit the water

Your hands are silk yet strong and I want to remain in them as a child that found a safe nest

amongst the darkness of the night

Your scent is of a still moonlit evening when you are so aware of the surrounding because they

are fresh yet very subtle, they are not overpowering but they are very present

Many of these lines were in some way and somehow communicated in the past

But I feel that in this natural way

They ring truer, more complete and full

May this circle of us tighten and thicken and round us into a ride we won't be able to forget, as

it will not end, a circle come once and come twice remains but a circle

But what a circle!

All my love and all of me.

7/18/08

Untitled

I cannot conceive of asking you to stay
Yet it is many a time all I can manage to imagine
The lifelines are a funny kind
They intertwine for a short spin
And cross one another through and through
Like the last time we danced and spun
Soon enough you’ll take a leave onto a journey
You rejoice and try on new pair of shoes
Out of the dark and into the light if you look and not hide
Then I agree there is balance in it
In what we call life, time itself means not a thing
Yet we deem time to encapsulate the very core of our being
Perceiving the time may never come again
As it seldom does
Once or twice in a time we occupy this world
Through rigorous practice of always creating time
The leader of our fate
And not our hearts
Heart knows this and how blatantly
It yields to wheel of time and this is our mind at its best
As the heart is endless,
Boundless beam of energy
That shines
And seeing it illuminates your very path
To cross over to the West
To be one with the natural and the intimate self
It would be of outmost cruelty of me to say
Please don’t go
I desire you to stay
I can feel you comprehend
I am not clever to plead my heart’s wishes
To anyone but Me.
It is after all as it should be.


To DD on 5.29.08 on understanding why he must leave New York for some time…


Lucie

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

NOW THAT I STABBED MYSELF

IN DEED

WHY 

I DO NOT KNOW

WHEN THEY REACH OUT FOR MY HANDS

I WALK AWAY

I HIDE BEHIND MY PRIDE

I SLIDE BESIDE MY CRIES

THE STONES CAME DOWN

FROM THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

THEY KEEP DESCENDING

KILLING, DESTROYING EVERYTHING UNDER

I WANT TO KNOW

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

AGAIN

NOT THE TRUST

NOT THE HEART

JUST THE VISION OF ME, MYSELF AND I

NOT THE BELIEF

NOT THE PRAYER

JUST THE AIR TO BREATHE

WAVES DOOMING, WINTER, SPRING

IT ALL REPEATS ITSELF

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

NOT THE HURT 

NOT THE SORROW

JUST THE EYE UP IN THE SKY

WILL I EVER SEE

WILL I EVER BELIEVE

AGAIN 

I DO MEAN TO ASK

- another poem from long ago suspecting from 1998

RESPECTFULLY..

Respectfully.

I mastered your point

Now hand down the sanctuary

Allow me to impress

Let you crawl into my thoughts

Regretfully.

I do not plan

For you to steal my mind

I would blindly let you see me cry

Over the hill you step

Whenever you are ready

Peacefully.

I am proposing a cooperative mode

Always to win

Never to lose my identity

I could never clone myself

Gracefully.

I like the tone of your voice

You shall sing

Opera perhaps

Composed as you may be 

Respectfully.

-- written so long ago I think 1998

Lost & Found... "MIRROR"

Standing tall and mighty

Sending messages down to me gently

I see myself in you

The times I have cleared my throat with whispers

You replicate images

Reiterating all in sequence

As if I sit and stare at the theatrical movie screen

It may not even be the best of selection

I merely suspect

Would not expect anything less

I too,

Remember the countless times I have cried myself to sleep

I too,

Recall the days I thought what it would be like

If tomorrow never arrived

I now glance over my shoulder

Time to time, every so often floating with fear

I too, wish to let go as much as you do

Needless to say my purification process

Triumphed right here and now,

In front of you my mirror

The avenues of my soul

I ride them with a windswept fierceness

In deed I comprehend where they lead

Me + Myself +I

The sign reads.

Home I arrived - the lock opens with ease

I spend what seems a lifetime  to me now

Fetching, glazing onto the place on the wall

You had left a dusty imprint

Mirror or hell

I have shed a heavy layer

Feeling of original, I so craved

Like a snake I leave piece of its skin

Colorful yet old and dry

My soul has rejoiced

Take my walk on the moon

Feeling & seeing heights unheard of

While you held your presence

I have self to plea with gratitude

I smile

Me + Myself + I

The sign reads.

12-30-2002

FEAR

Please don't scare me away

I am just a soul who longs to love you

For as long as I can

For as long as you let me inside your world

Please don't repeat what is when it is not

Nothing in this world of ours is what it seems

If it were so no one would ever need to live

Through any experiences

Your heart is shy and your mind graphed with your past

I comprehend well as I too can be as such

Believe it or not

Just this time I been granted

You are the most natural thing that has happened in my life

Now for the second time

Miracle in my hand

Cannot figure what great deed I have done

To witness it once and again

Attempt your best to not be afraid

As I too must not be

For everything I dreamt of

Is right in front of me.

5.20.08

IF AND ONLY IF

If only if time had no bearings on us
It is just an illusion after all said and done
That we age and that buildings fall…
Does that really mean time exists?
Between you and I there is no more time
It is all the while and all the moment in one
I can sit and hold your hand for a day and or eternity
It would feel the same; it would last just as long
And if only if we could ignore the clocks
It would evaporate the need to get up and go
Each time I walk down the steps
To turn around and catch a glimpse
Of the morning in your eyes
Waving me good bye
If only if we did not know what to do
The streetlights would remain in tact
The holes in the pavement would seal
When and then I could just be
Be who I always knew I was
If and only if the clouds would move away
From your heart to let the light through
To aid and gear the innocence
I can only pray that time will give us a part
And we can read the notes in our eyes
Hear the melodies of our souls
And let them unite
Collaborate on a beautiful sound, unlike no other
If and only if we could retain
Two hearts as one.

For DD on 5.19.08

MORNING OF MINE

MORNING OF MINE
CLARITY YOU BRING WITH YOU
THOUGH RAIN WASHED IT ALL AWAY
I REMEMBER THE SCENT OF THE PILLOW I LEFT BEHIND
IT IS FAMILIAR NOW
WHAT IF IT WAS NOT, THIS IS NO LONGER A QUESTION
THE HOURS AND MINUTES I LAID AWAKE
I FELT ENERGY RUNNING THROUGH MY BODY
THOUGH I WAS MOTIONLESS
MY BRAIN WAS SCATTERED BUT MY MIND
WAS STILL AND SPONGING IT ALL THROUGH ME
FILTERING AND DESIRING AND BREATHING IT IN
DRIP BY DRIP IT ENTHUSED MY SKIN
MORNING OF MINE MAY YOU ALWAYS BE SO CLEAR
NOT THE WEATHER, FOR ALL I KNOW THE RIVERS OPEN WIDE
NOT THE MOMENT, AS IT CEASES WHEN A NEW ONE ARRIVES
BUT THE HOUR IN WHICH WE RISE
WHEN I CAN HUMBLY SAY
MORNING OF MINE
YOU ARE TO ME
WHAT THE PLAIN BEIGE FIELDS ARE TO THE ZEBRAS
YOU BRING ME TO KNOW WHAT THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS
TEACHES THE NEWCOMER OVER AND OVER
THAT THE BEAUTY WILL COME AGAIN
JUST MUST LET IT AND MUST NOT TRY TO HOLD IT
MORNING OF MINE



For DD on 5.12.08

Slain me now
Do not pardon me
Drag me through the dirtiest of muds
All that and more is not enough
To erase the pain
My actions have manifested
To this day
I sigh and become undone
With magic brush
I would
Believe me
Remove
I from me at that time.
5-1-08

INK & STAIN

With this pen I write myself back in Into your sphere of patience and sincere stares
The letter shapes are strong and sharp the way I may have become over a decade past
Let the words alone stand as a reminder I am now as pure in thought as I always been
With a little luck and faith I shall remain
The white canvas I bought bears no calligraphy
For I don't know any
Though I clearly see images of two swords dancing in the air and the ink there were dipped in
Leave traces of strength and truth of the legendary warriors and their steel friends
An ink stain on this page I paused, I can tell It created a shape that can both be earth and hell, moon and sun for all the thoughts to wrap all around
With this pen I write what's inside And to you
I’ve wished to say
Pick up a pen and write if you will
Pause and stare at the white areas
Then return to color for balance of the mind.
These lines may flee soon enough
But the ink and stain have taken a part and
Surrounded a moment in time.
With this pen I write myself back into your life.
5-1-08

TODAY I SAY TO YOU

Thank you

And again for being a part

Of me and of my path

For sharing my passions and or becoming an observer

Perhaps being my cane or a vehicle in life

Yesterday we mourned another year that left

Footprints in the sand … shells all around

Today we celebrate the chance to have lived another

To part with sorrows and love

Join me and lets join rivers into oceans

I will be the foam and you will be the ocean

Thank you

For the yesterdays and tomorrows

Which will dominate the waters of our worlds

Thank you

Most of all

For today and this magical night.

For your hand and honest mind

I can never thank enough

Lucie

(thank you note from 30th bday party)

7-14-07

P-tense

may you split my heart into two
Though you will suffer trying to demise my memories
May you go around the world and become two not one within
I have been places
I have seen a million faces
Yours will remain in my subconscious
I notice my friend smiling and his smile is yours
I don't pretend my thoughts aren't hunted
Otherwise why do I remember a smile ?
Permisson to stake my mind to grasp facts
Truth as opposed to imagination
But perhaps all these too are one
For what is really is not and what was always will be.


For German 7-19-07
After a long conversation about the past.

First poem for my father.. ever.

Chci te branit
Chci te mlatit
Chci te milovat
Chci te znovu znat

Aby vsechno bylo tak jak to ma byt
Tak aby se vsechny more sesli
A jedna lod prejela cely svet
A svet byl k nepoznani

Chci abychom se spolu smali
Chci abysme oba chteli chtit
Chci abys me znovu znal
Jinak to uz nemuze byt

Jak ten nahrobni kamen
Co mi povedel vse co chybelo mezi nama
Za chvili u nas nebude na kameni kamen
Jinak to uz nemuze byt


10.26.07

Odraz - poem for my father

Kdyz se ztratis ve dne nebo v noci
Najdes se jiste v kalisku caje
Ten temny lesk, ta misena vune citronu s cukrem
Dovede te do nadhernych myslenek
A sam sebe budes v caji se odrazet
Na prochazce lesem
Vidim cosi krasneho
Ikdyz neco tak prosteho
Sedi mala u studanky a diva se do vody
A hleda Co asi?
Jak ty sedis u krbu se svarenym vinem
Tak ta mala hleda v zrcadle studanky
Tvar kterou jednou znala
Kdysi davno a ted Se na ni odrazi z vody
A pripomina vse a nic
A porad se diva na ni a neprestava
Kdykoliv se ztratis
Jak ve dne nebo v noci
Podivej se do odrazu vody
Na stribrnou temnotu
Ktera prinese odpoved
Kdyz ne dnes tak mozna zitra P


ro tatu od Lucie 19.11.2007

MY RIVER, YOUR BRIDGE

I float and spin with the rage of the open water
Bruising my body over the stones in the way
Faster and faster I must go; I need to move
If not speed of light a second slower
The split wood in my bleeding hands
It does not suffer me I suffer it
I require it to sting me through every drop of blood
To live, to feel, to know and to continue
The living creatures I share this moving sphere with
They are the outmost lucky ones
They feel no pain and they understand no injustice
Though they understand survival and its immediate results
I understand if a bridge does not come soon enough
I will float even after I am no more amongst them
Other than my flesh and bones perhaps serving
As their dinner, come all to eat my flesh
I may at last carry a meaning.

9.2.07

For Victor

WASTING AWAY

If my loving you is a waste
Then let me burn and waste away at a slow pace
let my skin turn black
If you not loving me is a waste
You must sail away and open yourself to the winds
and bare the open sea and its storms
If we find a way to one another which meets
Us both in the middle of it all
We may just come out on top
And still be two not one but come together
Individualities and opposites attract they say
Dualities make for some interesting times
I realize our differences and our simple truths
Which combine all that one can say at this time
There is so much beauty if one sits still and takes a second
Look at any one thing on this earth
I am looking at you once and again
If all the frustrations can be omitted and worked out
And the clouds of anger be dissipated
None other than discoveries will take place
Our freedoms matter
Our souls come to a stance for each of our ways
Love, patience and will to live make a world a true journey.
May you take this and or another journey you will do well.

To you Vitya, from me. Lutzko.

11.19.07

Was today another cell?
Repeated, duplicated, forced to live its life span out
Or did the inevitable swept the idea of normalcy
Replicated, with a minor dent, cancerous cell
It is true
Die you overzealous creature
Put your hand into a pool of blood
See how much is dripping down your forearm?
Can you count the life left behind
Do you want to know what comes?
Throw the redness onto the ground!
Will it nurture?
Can it?
Now you dark mouth say what you will and eat up what you may
The day of ceasure will come
Just you wait.

2/2008 For Vic.